I Carry You with Me is a Spanish-language romantic drama which follows an aspiring chef, Iván (Armando Espitia), and teacher, Gerardo (Christian Vazquez), as they develop a socially forbidden relationship in their Mexican farming town in the 1980’s.  Iván eventually makes the difficult but necessary decision to cross the border to pursue his dream of becoming a chef, even if it means leaving his family, his son, and his partner behind. 

Premiering at Sundance and released by Sony Pictures Classics, Heidi Ewing’s narrative debut after making a name for herself in pure documentary film quickly erupted into the talk of the festival.  The care and tenderness she has for this story is evident in every choice she made, from the script through to postproduction, and it is clear that everyone on the crew was on the same page as they brought this tender story to the screen.  But don’t let the concept fool you into thinking that I Carry You with Me is just a gay romance, it delves into so many transcendent aspects of these two men’s lives that anyone can come to this film and be moved by it. 

The world of the film, while dream-like at times, is undeniably lived in.  It bounces between memory, reality, and daydreams, and by doing so it allows us to feel the wide range of emotions that Iván goes through in his journey through life.  But it does not only focus on Iván, there is also a very biting memory – or rather a nightmare – from Gerardo’s perspective as a child when his father begins to suspect that Gerardo may be gay.  We see a similar scene with Iván later on, though his is wrapped in the trappings of a fun childhood memory, the negative social stigma of being a Latino in the LGBTQ+ community is always a dark cloud looming over Iván and Gerardo’s heads.  The film – refreshingly – never falls into the tragedy of being gay. 

And for all the horror that the Gerardo’s childhood memory adds to the film, there are just as many, if not more, moments of tenderness.  Ewing’s voyeuristic camera catches a hidden moment of passion between the two boys in the attic loft of Gerardo’s family’s farmhouse.  That the film only holds this single moment of erotica – if it can even be called that – draped in the shadows provided by the natural lighting through a dilapidated roof, serves to only strengthen the bond between the two boys.  The love and care the two leads have for each other is so clear, not just emotionally, but physically, now, too.  Which makes it even more heartbreaking when Iván decides he will make the dangerous journey North and cross the border to the United States. 

This middle sequence, as Iván makes his journey with childhood friend, Sandra (Michelle Rodríguez), is reminiscent to an equally harrowing immigration drama, Gregory Nava’s El Norte (1983).  As I Carry You with Me enters its third act, we see the real price that this pursuit of a dream carried for Iván.  While El Norte still remains very relevant today, I Carry You with Me has the benefit of this time jump to present day and can more directly dissect the immigrant experience in modern-day America.  And while we may not be able to relate to his story 1:1, there are some undeniable truths about it that we can all sympathize with as humans.  None of us are on islands.  None of us can act truly independently.  Everything we do triggers a never-ending chain of cause and effect for everyone in our lives.   

It is in this exploration of how our actions effect those around us that I Carry You with Me really elevates to the next level.  The romance, the coming of age, the pursuit of a dream are all strong story lines, but in the last 30 minutes or so, we are reunited in some fashion with many characters from Iván’s past and how their relationships may have changed – for better or for worse.  It is happy, it is sad, it is melancholic, and honestly it is the perfect tone for this film that covers one man’s life, which on its surface may seem extremely far removed from our own experience, but at the end of the day, he is just looking for what we all are looking for; a fulfilment of purpose and someone to share in that joy.