Thomas Rongen (Michael Fassbender) is sent by the Federation to coach the American Samoa Soccer Team, the lowest-ranking team in the league having never scored a single goal in the club’s history. Bristling against the more free-spirited approach of team owner Tavita (Oscar Kightley) and current coach, Ace (David Fane), Thomas is at his wits end with a team that does not seem to be capable of even playing a full game. As he spends more time with the team, though, Thomas begins to realize there is a passion for the sport and a potential to play that just needs to be guided and refined, so he changes his coaching style and is resolved to bring out the best team possible to face the Independent Samoan team in the qualifiers for the 2014 FIFA World Cup. 

Taika Waititi writes, with Iain Morris, and directs Next Goal Wins, a sports biopic/dramedy adapted from Mike Brett and Steve Jamison’s 2014 documentary account of this story of the same name. What would have been the director’s follow-up to Jojo Rabbit (2019), the film premiered at the Toronto International Film Festival after major delays involving reshooting Will Arnett’s role as Alex Magnussen that was originally filled by Armie Hammer. The Searchlight feature posted a pretty disappointing opening when it was rolled out wide, possibly due to limited marketing options given that much of the promotional period overlapped with the tail end of the SAG-AFTRA strike, and with the holiday slate kicking into gear and the union’s work ban lifted, it seems to be destined to find its home on Hulu where the quirky stylings of the Marvel-alum may be better suited to lure in an audience that does not need to leave their home. 

The opening minutes of this 103-minute feel-good film prove to be a litmus test for those unfamiliar with Waititi’s style. From the “we are gonna play with the facts” title card, Waititi’s self-inserted performance as the Island’s Priest and narrator of the film, and the full and total admission that this is going to be just another white savior story, the stage is fully set for disappointment, and honestly, the onus is now on the audience to value their time and seek a refund of their admission costs. For those unfortunate few who shake off that personal responsibility and are determined to sit through this ordeal, their patience will be rewarded with some nice island views shot by Lachlan Milne, interrupted by a misaligned story effusing with cloying, desperate humor. 

Centering the film around Thomas is the biggest mistake made in the script and something the film cannot recover from. This fumble is made even more apparent in the few moments where the team members do get to take center stage and they absolutely excel with charm and charisma highlighting just how poor of a conduit Thomas is into this story. The grump-turned-sweetheart arc is a genre staple, but Fassbender phones it in here and his animosity is seemingly more on a personal level than it is a devoted passion for the game as many of his gripes tend to be levied at the local culture or the players directly. A fish dish and a metaphor about tin cans washed up on the shore – the film recognizes this as a joke, but nevertheless, it is a poor one – and all of a sudden he sees the potential in this team for greatness and comes to practice with a positive attitude. That the team just up and accepts this change without any shred or indication of an apology on behalf of Thomas leaves audiences feeling a little gross as his abuses get glossed over. 

The film is constantly infantizing the indigenous culture for laughs, and while it is also quick to crack a joke at Thomas’ expense for being the lone white person on the island, it feels more chummy in nature than the punching down that the film does towards its indigenous characters. The most egregious example of Thomas jumping in the taunting of the opposing Tonga team. Sure, he is overexaggerating the taunt for the sake of a laugh, but the kernel of that joke is more at the expense of the American Samoan people than it is at Thomas who is framed center/center with all eyes on him. We were warned this was going to be set up as just another white savior story and Waititi sure does deliver on that front, but he fails to deliver on the second half of his promise that he will subvert and redirect attention away from Thomas and allow the team to revel in their own achievement. With the exception of Jaiyah (Kaimana), almost none of the other team members are given anything to do than play into their oversized folly so that they can be pointed at and laughed at by audiences who are simultaneously being set up to form an emotional bond with Thomas and his tragic backstory.  

The worst example of this total mismanagement of characters on the page comes in a very pointed attack against Jaiyah when Thomas purposefully and maliciously dead-names her in the middle of practice after having already been told by Ace that the team has accepted Jaiyah as fa’afafine and that her identity is recognized and respected by the Island as well. Taking this act and using it as a character-building moment for Thomas is just downright gross, and to give credit where it is due, Waititi realizes that he is totally out of his element after letting this slip occur because he quickly tries to move past it as if nothing happened. It would be one thing to try and sweep it under the rug, but Watiti’s deftness is then magnified when the film seeks to valorize Thomas the next time he refers to Jaiyah by her name. Outside of the film, Jaiyah Saelua would go on to be recognized as the first openly non-binary and trans woman to compete in the FIFA World Cup series, but inside the film and too late into shooting Watiti seems to realize that this story would have been better framed through her lens instead of Thomas’ and he puts a lot of narrative weight on Kaimana. She does very well in the role adopting a kill them with kindness approach in how to handle Thomas, but again, towards the end of the film, she becomes little more than an emotional prop for Thomas as he reaches his own emotional catharsis by calling her Nicole during a team huddle; the name of his deceased daughter. 

A sense of dread rightfully washes over audiences when Watiti, the man who had played Adolph Hitler as a chummy, wise cracking imaginary friend in a candy-coated account of the Holocaust, comes onto screen in his tie-dye priest garb and exaggerated Fu Manchu mustache in the early moments of the film. Now, maybe Waitiki has grown as a director since this was developed almost 5 years prior to its release, but left to his own devices while working outside of the Marvel Machine, he is his own worst enemy. His sense of humor is allowed to flow out, unvetted on the page, and it simply is not good. The PG-13 rating allows the film to lean in a little more to its character’s vices than a Disney Channel Original where a crabby coach leading a rag tag group of kids to victory feels most at home, but the humor is still about as adept and dull as any made-for-tv sequel with its broad strokes and blunt, over the top construction.